the avengers | harry potter au
(disclaimer: that has nothing to do with Harry Potter himself)
Steve is a Muggleborn wizard who left the wizarding world after finishing his NEWTs in order to fulfill a promise to his family. Bruce is a professor in Defence Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts with a monstrous secret. Natasha, a Ministry spy, has a past, and it’s not a pretty one. Clint is an Auror who finds himself neck-deep in trouble when he uncovers a conspiracy against the Ministry. Tony is a rich and eccentric tinkerer who finds himself drawn to dabbling in the Dark Arts. Thor and his brother Loki are both descendants of a noble pureblooded family. The uneasy truce between the brothers is broken when Thor discovers that Loki has returned to his Death Eater ways.
[Submitted by: makinganestforthehawk
Part of Avenging the Earth is helping to cut down on waste. Here at S.H.I.E.L.D. we maintain a comprehensive recycling policy. Therefore, Thor is asked to cease expressing his pleasure with anything in a glass container by smashing it on the ground and crying out, “ANOTHER!” as it makes the glass impossible to recycle.]
[Submitted by: EatortheMighty
Because there has been some “confusion,” I apparently need to clarify a few things.
1: “Yes, sir” or “Yes, Director Fury” are acceptable responses to an order from me. “Yar, Matey” is not.
2: There are no such things as “air barnacles.” All agents should refrain from telling new recruits that they will be tasked with scraping them.
3: Mr. Stark makes sure that the rum stores for the helicarrier are well stocked, but it is not his ‘job.’ No agent should infer otherwise.
Any agent found violating these rules will be keelhauled.]
[[All S.H.I.E.L.D. agents who have actually VOLUNTEERED for Loki-minding or Deadpool-sitting will submit to an immediate psychological exam, followed by an I.Q. test. You are all either completely insane or immensely stupid. Or both.]]
[Submitted by: Sarah
Capt. Rogers is not ‘Mister Rogers.’ A warning; anyone who inquires about his ‘neighborhood’ will likely be regaled with a colorful history of 1940s Brooklyn and various other places that Capt. Rogers ‘got beat up.’ They will usually be forced to listen for upwards of an hour and a half.]
[Submitted by: Samael
While I am pleased with any initative to reduce our electric bill, all agents are to refrain from asking Thor to “boost” their personal electronic devices during off-hours.]
[Submitted by: FevversAB
Added to the list of songs banned from performance at S.H.I.E.L.D. Karaoke Night is “Cold As Ice” by Foreigner, even if, ESPECIALLY if, you are Mr. Stark singing it to Capt. Rogers with “sulky puppydog eyes.”]
30 Day Hunger Games Challenge
» Day One: Favorite Male Character
Marvel - District One
[Submitted by: iseulttoinjury
S.H.I.E.L.D. personnel are reminded that, regardless of their personal tastes, neither Justin Bieber, nor Rebecca Black are considered “the most illustrious bards of this age,” and it is now a punishable offense to instruct those not familiar with modern Earth that this is the case.]